Sunday, February 27, 2011

An accidental homeschooling mum


This was written in my facebook (FB) notes recently which I thought it would be apt to share:



It has been almost 19 months since Dumpling and I started doing home learning. I am actually an accidental homeschooling mum. I did not start off having any intentions or grand ideas of homeschooling (hey, even I would like to have a life!) and do not consider myself maternal (I had such severe PND that in the initial months I wanted to chug my kid down the chute!) or hardworking at all. The entire thing was and still is a slow progression. We started with signing which really encouraged her to communicate to us, the crafts and then adopting a more "thematic" approach. Then the daily sessions took on a life of its own where with a thematic based approach it was easier for me to source for books and craft materials.

Then slowly we added on more dimensions to our sessions as her attention span became longer and longer where she now can easily sit through more than 90 mins of home learning (with regular water, snacks and toilet breaks of course) and I have to make a hard stop many a time which are unfortunately met with tears as she does not want to stop! Yup, that's right, she wants to continue to paint / read 2 more books or watch another episode of "Cat in the Hat".

When I first started uploading pics on my FB, it was and still is meant as a platform to share. I still hope to do that 'cos I wish that other parents would share with me too - the websites they visit, free printable downloads, good reading resources and of course, good teaching resources. Then I realised that unfortunately some would view the progress / journey as "showing off" and there were also strange experiences with parents who were really uncomfortable chatting to me about our kids and just brush off the conversation by saying "ai ya, am sure your C is able to do much better lah" when we are just chatting generic stuff and not chatting about schooling! Or that I get judged and labelled as being very "competitive" / "KS". I also get a lot of comments such as "oh, we don't really want to push our kids as we want them to enjoy their childhood".

I have always been a driven person with high levels of energy since young (typical type A). I get bored with routines and always need to be challenged. Hence even at this age, I still am looking forward to taking up courses and learning new stuff (hence I became a certified Baby Signing Time instructor last year).

This essentially became half of the reason why the homeschooling worked for us so far - being able to homeschool my child also means that I , too, am able to learn along the way. The other half of the equation is C's interest. And this is where unfortunately, I have to dispel any notions you have of me holding a cane (I do not beat C) or forcing C to "spell" or memorise the multiplication table. Ha ha ha... C's interest is really what drives most of the topics for our homelearning. I get annoyed when people get very judgemental and pass on comments such as why I would force C 'cos she is only 2 and that they do not homelearn with their own kids because they do not want to force them and would like for their kids to have a very enjoyable childhood.
Errrrmmm... What's your definition of an enjoyable childhood then? How did you conclude that a child needs to be forced in homelearning sessions or that it must be direly hard / boring? At least for my case, I can safely conclude that C and I have great time together. May I also ask how was your childhood? Mine was lots of hard work driven mainly by my aunt but I also got to head down to catch grasshoppers, shoot rubber bands at lizards, slide down on a steep slope in a cardboard box and almost all but broke my neck. From the first exercise, I learnt to anticipate how far the grasshopper can leap / hop and prepare a plastic bag large enough to contain it (and of course speed matters here as well). From the second exercise, I learnt to hone my shooting skills (haha!) and I never have a fear of lizards and from the last (which was one of my absolute favourite activities), I learnt how to steer the box (which I can attest to my "grand prix" inspired driving skills now), the angle to to lean in order to gain more speed and who to partner which led to me winning many of such races.

And just how much does C get to explore from homelearning? Well, how many children get to head down to the park / grass slopes to dig out earth worms and go on a snail hunt just to confirm the theory that both do not have feet and are invertebrates. Why a marble is able to roll faster across a smooth surface versus that on a tarmac (inquiry based learning)? We also learnt about how ice is formed and why it melts through coloured ice-cubes painting (magic school bus helped too :p). We homelearn because we have loads of fun at home. It also adds to the entire bonding process and I love it when she is able to tell me / apply theories based on new things we learn and most importantly, I understand her "attempts" to test the theory and we get to share some good laughs over these attempts.


We homelearn because I am able to encourage her interest in learning and this is possible only because we have FUN. I would like to add on for the record that I am not expecting her to be or expecting myself to raise a genius. Whether she gets that snails are invertebrates at the first or fifth attempt is not important. It is the process and journey of digging the soil, finding, experimenting, touching, learning and laughing together that matters to me (she all but "threw" the darn snail at me when she realised that it was a bit slimy). Since the attention is on a "one-on-one" basis, I am also able to match her pace and topics of interest accordingly and thereby encourage her inquisitiveness and interest in learning. So, if I do not judge your parenting style, please do not judge mine as each child is different; I do not appreciate being labelled and I am sure you do not like to be labelled too. Also, bearing in mind that while most kids attend a bilingual playgroup and learn from school, C goes to a pure mandarin playgroup during the day and so if I do not expose her to english and all, she has 0% exposure.

For friends who asked me about a "method" for homelearning, there is no pre-fixed method as I think it still is best to be child led. What I would perhaps recommend is to do it either "literature-based" or "thematic-based" to start off so it is easier from "research" standpoint.

I am sort of mixing literature + inquiry + lapbooking depending on topics. So for e.g. if your child loves reading, then read read read with your child. But you can also look into the extension of just story books to factual based books to increase general knowledge. For e.g. Katy No Pocket can be incorporated with reference books from the library on Kangaroos. You can even extend it to learning more about marsupials and if Koala bears are really bears and why do they sleep so much, etc. The sky is the limit when you homelearn. And I highly recommend craft. Craft helps them to improve their motorskills and also with creativity I think. You can always start small like what C and I did when she was younger - 20 mins per time. Good enough for 1 book and then extending it to painting / tearing and pasting (collage) or just head downstairs for a nature walk (if it is nature theme driven).

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

butterfly flutters

I am now just nesting at home, waiting for my small rat to eventually decide to enter into this grand world. EDD is actually on 13 Oct and I have been receiving smses and msn messages from well meaning friends as to if I have finally popped on a daily basis!

So while waiting for my small rat to arrive, I wanted to blog down some thoughts and feelings when I can still remember them. :o)

One of the most enjoyable and amazing experience of being pregnant is to have my BB move inside me. I suppose God is fair because in my bro's blog, he mentioned that it is kinda unfair that the guy does not get to experience the movements. Pondering on this, well,I have decided that it is a Mother's privilege. 'Cos we are the ones who have to carry the small munchkin and go through all the emotional (not to mention physical) changes and challenges, I guess being able to feel our BB's movements is a "compensation" if you will. :p

I started feeling small 'romantic' butterfly flutters in my 15th week, which I understand is way early for a first time mummy. When it first happened, I was wondering how on earth I can possibly be hungry again; I thought that it was my stomach growling. When it happened a few minutes later, I realised that it is actually my BB's movements! Even now as I reflect and recall that magical moment, I get goosebumps and I have a silly smile on my face. I think it was then that the pregnancy was more 'real' for me.

Only downside was that my husband could not relish in the same joy since he could not feel a single thing until perhaps in the 5th month when the movements was more pronounced.

Fast forward to my 39th week. The once romantic flutters are no longer that romantic! My small rat has since grown to a full term size and is much stronger. Hence, the gentle tai chi moves are now more like bruce lee flying kicks! There are many a time when my stomach would stretch so badly that it is lop sided. Worse, my small rat likes to curl up on my left side and all the movements are mainly on that side 90% of the time. My husband is also in awe at the small rat's strength as she is most often most active between 9+ to 11+pm. The movements would be so BIG and hard that my husband would sometimes go "fwah"! On some occasions, the kicks actually do hurt but this is a small price to pay to be able to feel my baby moving inside me, this miracle of life.

To be able to grow something from just an egg and a sperm and then having it evolving into a cell and then a beanie and then taking on a more human form where it has nails, eyes, bones, its own organs, etc., is such a humbling experience. Such is the miracle of life. And I thank God everyday for keeping us safe and healthy and for blessing my family with a chance to experience such a wonder.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

absolutely clueless

I am the first to readily admit, I am absolutely clueless when it comes to babies.

Ask me anything about dogs and I will most likely have a response - opinion, sharing, feedback, etc. For e.g.:

- you can use olive oil (not the cooking type!) for minor skin problems such as bites, rashes, etc.)
- use cornflour if your dog has a minor cut to stop the bleeding as it helps with clogging
- use some anti-septic powder on your fingertips when plucking hair from the ears (smell nice and it helps with preventing infection)

Hence, you can only imagine how lost I was when I was looking at a baby items list which I picked up from Taka in March during the babyfair. My first experience was this:





































Out of curiosity, how many of you actually know what it is?

My assistant at work, at the ripe 'old' age of 25 pointed out to me such an item and said "oh look! so cute! look at the print! they have a suzy's zoo diaper stacker!"

I was like WHAT??? THAT IS A DIAPER STACKER? WHATEVER DO WE NEED ONE FOR??? I swear, I have never seen one in my entire life!!!

And that was just the beginning. I have since made dunno how many calls and MSN my bro dunno how many times to ask about baby's stuff.

"gor, for newborn babies, if i intend to BF, do i even need bottles? i do? ai yoh, what size - is 125ml the correct one? and oh, robinsons having 20% off, is it an OK deal?"

"gor, do we even need a steriliser - can we not just use hot water and sterilising tablet?"

"gor, for NBs' rompers, should buy sleeves or no sleeves or what?"

"gor, for cot and stroller hor, what to look out for? huh? so many things to consider? can you just give it to me in summarised bullet points?"

hahahahahahahahahahaaa... my poor brother simply has no peace lah... Over the stroller issue, I must have MSN him like 101 questions... Sigh...

And just when I thought I am slowly getting the hang of it *smug look on my face* and has completed like 65% of the Taka list, my buddy - angela, gave me another list and guess what! I am not even 30% there!

And on both list, one of the items is "Baby Oil" - whatever is that for? Cant I just use the Olive Oil that I have which I got for my two lovely cocker spaniels for beanie instead???!??? -____-

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

come to mama!

With Mother's Day just over, I cannot help but feel a little nostalgic. And especially now with beanie on the way, my thoughts and feelings towards Mother's Day is a bit different.

Recently a colleague asked me what sorta mum I think I am or will become. That question got me stuck and thinking for a while. See, I have been blessed with a fabulous mum. Though sometimes I am a bit too curt and impatient with my mum, there is no denying the amount of love and importantly, respect I have for her.

My parents are not very highly educated but I do think that my bro and I turned out pretty well. We are not dis-respectful, have pretty strong family values and beliefs and are doing OK in corporate world. Importantly, my bro and I are very close. Next to my husband, my bro is my other best friend. I think I have to give my parents credit for that, for instilling that family value and closeness in us since young. Till now, my bro and I chat with each other everyday. But of course, being an elder brother, he does all the annoying things a brother naturally does... Opps, I think I may have digress a bit. Let's get back to my mum.

My mum, 'cos of her lack of education, had to do pretty manual labour to make a living. Since young, I remember she had to do 2 jobs just to get the family going. It was especially bad as my dad was affected by the 1985/86 recession and was jobless. My mum never once complained and I remembered she was just this steam roller that just continues on and on. Additionally, my brother was quite a sickly child when he was young and had to undergo a few fairly major operations. My mum would somehow manage to cook the necessary tonic and bring it to the hospital and still do her 2 jobs. She also in her best capability tried to provide the best education for my bro and I, getting us tutors and courses to attend and sending me to study music for 11 years, etc.

How do I then compare myself to such a selfless and devoted mother?

One of my other colleagues who was participating in the conversation then turned the question around - how would I wish my beanie to turn out? My first reply was 'DEFINITELY NOT LIKE ME!' I recognise that I am not an easy child to raise and am so headstrong, impatient and short fused. It would be frightening to imagine if beanie were to be a mini-me!!! Ironic ain't it?

For all the wonderful sacrifices my mum made over the years, for all her tears, sweat, sleepless hours and worries she carried with her, I salute this wonderful being - MUMMY, I LOVE YOU. I could not ask for a better mother and if I end up doing half of a job as you did to bring us up, I would be deliriously happy already.

With my beanie on the way, I really do not know what sort of parenting style or mother I would be. So, I only have this to say to beanie:

"Sweetheart, I cannot give you the world's best but I sure will give you my best. And I shall look forward to the day you will be able to say to me the same words that I say to my mum here, "MUMMY I LOVE YOU" and I shall also look forward to the day that you are able to read these entries and know how much Daddy and I look forward to having and seeing you and how much we love and treasure you. Perhaps one day, you will also be a parent and think of me with fond memories. And I thank God for the day He put you in me and bringing you into this world for us, for keeping you safe and healthy and importantly, happy. May the Lord continue to walk with you, watch over you and bless you.

Love, Mummy"

Friday, May 9, 2008

Surreal

I meant to blog about this earlier but somehow got stuck in the rut of the rat race... :(

Whenever I do my scans during my visits to the gynae, it is always a very surreal experience. 'Cos I am blessed with no morning sickness as well as a good appetite, hence I did not feel remotely pregnant in the first trimester. In fact all the way till the 10th week, my appetite was so good that I need to eat once every 3 hours or so.

The only time when it feels a bit more 'real' is when the scans are done. And my goodness, what an experience they are. The first time I did my scan, I was in my 5th week and all I could see was a water bag. Basically my gynae, Dr. Ong, wanted to ensure that the position of the bag is correct and it is not an ectopic pregnancy. My 2nd scan was during my 7th week and it was to check if there is a heartbeat. It was a really magical experience to actually see this small little black dot blipping away on the screen!

Dr. Ong also turned up the doppler and we could hear our BB's heartbeat for the first time and boy, was it loud and fast! It sounded (and still does actually) like a horse galloping! I could not for the life of me, imagine that this small little dot is actually a life and would grow to be a mini 'us'!

My 3rd scan was during my 10th week because I was cramping and spotting and Dr. Ong just wanted to ensure that the baby still has a heartbeat. We went in there, not knowing what to expect and you can once again imagine our surprise to see that the small black dot has evolved into a kidney bean shape looking thing - hence, the name of this blog site: beanie. :o) I am sure all parents-to-be and parents can understand what we went through, the experience was totally surreal. That this beanie would, at the end of the term, evolve into a human with its own traits and preferences and hopefully, would one day be someone useful to the society.

Hence, we always look forward to our gynae visits to see our child being 'baked-in-progress' and what it is up to. And as the pregnancy progresses, we learnt that we have more things to look forward to! I remember during my 13th week NT scan, Dr. Ong had such a hard time as beanie was performing.... A HEADSTAND! And during my most recent scan where we were trying to determine its gender, beanie was seated in a full lotus position. Ha ha ha ha... These small little antics our beanie does just brings a smile to my face as the memories surface.

Being not very maternal and not exactly into babies, I used to worry if I love my own kid. Seriously. I know it sounds ridiculous but I did feel that way. However, I just realise as I am blogging this down and regaling all these tales, I am already half in love with beanie - antics and all! :o)




















Beanie @ 10 weeks (look closely and you may just be able to spot its small buds of hands and legs!)


















Beanie @ 10 weeks (close up)
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