absolutely clueless

I am the first to readily admit, I am absolutely clueless when it comes to babies.

Ask me anything about dogs and I will most likely have a response - opinion, sharing, feedback, etc. For e.g.:

- you can use olive oil (not the cooking type!) for minor skin problems such as bites, rashes, etc.)
- use cornflour if your dog has a minor cut to stop the bleeding as it helps with clogging
- use some anti-septic powder on your fingertips when plucking hair from the ears (smell nice and it helps with preventing infection)

Hence, you can only imagine how lost I was when I was looking at a baby items list which I picked up from Taka in March during the babyfair. My first experience was this:





































Out of curiosity, how many of you actually know what it is?

My assistant at work, at the ripe 'old' age of 25 pointed out to me such an item and said "oh look! so cute! look at the print! they have a suzy's zoo diaper stacker!"

I was like WHAT??? THAT IS A DIAPER STACKER? WHATEVER DO WE NEED ONE FOR??? I swear, I have never seen one in my entire life!!!

And that was just the beginning. I have since made dunno how many calls and MSN my bro dunno how many times to ask about baby's stuff.

"gor, for newborn babies, if i intend to BF, do i even need bottles? i do? ai yoh, what size - is 125ml the correct one? and oh, robinsons having 20% off, is it an OK deal?"

"gor, do we even need a steriliser - can we not just use hot water and sterilising tablet?"

"gor, for NBs' rompers, should buy sleeves or no sleeves or what?"

"gor, for cot and stroller hor, what to look out for? huh? so many things to consider? can you just give it to me in summarised bullet points?"

hahahahahahahahahahaaa... my poor brother simply has no peace lah... Over the stroller issue, I must have MSN him like 101 questions... Sigh...

And just when I thought I am slowly getting the hang of it *smug look on my face* and has completed like 65% of the Taka list, my buddy - angela, gave me another list and guess what! I am not even 30% there!

And on both list, one of the items is "Baby Oil" - whatever is that for? Cant I just use the Olive Oil that I have which I got for my two lovely cocker spaniels for beanie instead???!??? -____-

come to mama!

With Mother's Day just over, I cannot help but feel a little nostalgic. And especially now with beanie on the way, my thoughts and feelings towards Mother's Day is a bit different.

Recently a colleague asked me what sorta mum I think I am or will become. That question got me stuck and thinking for a while. See, I have been blessed with a fabulous mum. Though sometimes I am a bit too curt and impatient with my mum, there is no denying the amount of love and importantly, respect I have for her.

My parents are not very highly educated but I do think that my bro and I turned out pretty well. We are not dis-respectful, have pretty strong family values and beliefs and are doing OK in corporate world. Importantly, my bro and I are very close. Next to my husband, my bro is my other best friend. I think I have to give my parents credit for that, for instilling that family value and closeness in us since young. Till now, my bro and I chat with each other everyday. But of course, being an elder brother, he does all the annoying things a brother naturally does... Opps, I think I may have digress a bit. Let's get back to my mum.

My mum, 'cos of her lack of education, had to do pretty manual labour to make a living. Since young, I remember she had to do 2 jobs just to get the family going. It was especially bad as my dad was affected by the 1985/86 recession and was jobless. My mum never once complained and I remembered she was just this steam roller that just continues on and on. Additionally, my brother was quite a sickly child when he was young and had to undergo a few fairly major operations. My mum would somehow manage to cook the necessary tonic and bring it to the hospital and still do her 2 jobs. She also in her best capability tried to provide the best education for my bro and I, getting us tutors and courses to attend and sending me to study music for 11 years, etc.

How do I then compare myself to such a selfless and devoted mother?

One of my other colleagues who was participating in the conversation then turned the question around - how would I wish my beanie to turn out? My first reply was 'DEFINITELY NOT LIKE ME!' I recognise that I am not an easy child to raise and am so headstrong, impatient and short fused. It would be frightening to imagine if beanie were to be a mini-me!!! Ironic ain't it?

For all the wonderful sacrifices my mum made over the years, for all her tears, sweat, sleepless hours and worries she carried with her, I salute this wonderful being - MUMMY, I LOVE YOU. I could not ask for a better mother and if I end up doing half of a job as you did to bring us up, I would be deliriously happy already.

With my beanie on the way, I really do not know what sort of parenting style or mother I would be. So, I only have this to say to beanie:

"Sweetheart, I cannot give you the world's best but I sure will give you my best. And I shall look forward to the day you will be able to say to me the same words that I say to my mum here, "MUMMY I LOVE YOU" and I shall also look forward to the day that you are able to read these entries and know how much Daddy and I look forward to having and seeing you and how much we love and treasure you. Perhaps one day, you will also be a parent and think of me with fond memories. And I thank God for the day He put you in me and bringing you into this world for us, for keeping you safe and healthy and importantly, happy. May the Lord continue to walk with you, watch over you and bless you.

Love, Mummy"

Surreal

I meant to blog about this earlier but somehow got stuck in the rut of the rat race... :(

Whenever I do my scans during my visits to the gynae, it is always a very surreal experience. 'Cos I am blessed with no morning sickness as well as a good appetite, hence I did not feel remotely pregnant in the first trimester. In fact all the way till the 10th week, my appetite was so good that I need to eat once every 3 hours or so.

The only time when it feels a bit more 'real' is when the scans are done. And my goodness, what an experience they are. The first time I did my scan, I was in my 5th week and all I could see was a water bag. Basically my gynae, Dr. Ong, wanted to ensure that the position of the bag is correct and it is not an ectopic pregnancy. My 2nd scan was during my 7th week and it was to check if there is a heartbeat. It was a really magical experience to actually see this small little black dot blipping away on the screen!

Dr. Ong also turned up the doppler and we could hear our BB's heartbeat for the first time and boy, was it loud and fast! It sounded (and still does actually) like a horse galloping! I could not for the life of me, imagine that this small little dot is actually a life and would grow to be a mini 'us'!

My 3rd scan was during my 10th week because I was cramping and spotting and Dr. Ong just wanted to ensure that the baby still has a heartbeat. We went in there, not knowing what to expect and you can once again imagine our surprise to see that the small black dot has evolved into a kidney bean shape looking thing - hence, the name of this blog site: beanie. :o) I am sure all parents-to-be and parents can understand what we went through, the experience was totally surreal. That this beanie would, at the end of the term, evolve into a human with its own traits and preferences and hopefully, would one day be someone useful to the society.

Hence, we always look forward to our gynae visits to see our child being 'baked-in-progress' and what it is up to. And as the pregnancy progresses, we learnt that we have more things to look forward to! I remember during my 13th week NT scan, Dr. Ong had such a hard time as beanie was performing.... A HEADSTAND! And during my most recent scan where we were trying to determine its gender, beanie was seated in a full lotus position. Ha ha ha ha... These small little antics our beanie does just brings a smile to my face as the memories surface.

Being not very maternal and not exactly into babies, I used to worry if I love my own kid. Seriously. I know it sounds ridiculous but I did feel that way. However, I just realise as I am blogging this down and regaling all these tales, I am already half in love with beanie - antics and all! :o)

Beanie @ 10 weeks (look closely and you may just be able to spot its small buds of hands and legs!)

Beanie @ 10 weeks (close up)