Our Ortho-K journey: 9 months later...

The kiddo has been on the Ortho-K journey for about 9 months now and I thought that it would be great to update since the usage of these lens is now very much a part of her “lifestyle”.

If you need to have some background of what Ortho-K is about, I have previously done a post here.

But as a recap, Ortho-K is the usage of hard lens to reshape the cornea as the child wears it to sleep. This then reduces the need for glasses or contact lens during the day. 

But of course, to start off, the kiddo needed to go for a consultation to determine her suitability on the use of the lenses. 

Consultation to determine suitability

One of the most common questions that Dumpling gets from her classmates and me, from other mums are, what's needed / the steps involved. 

So here's what she goes through on a daily basis:

And off she goes to bed! 

When she wakes up, basically there are 3 steps: 

:: Step 1: Removal of lenses 

This is done with a small removal (suction) tool. Of course, when the kiddo first got her lenses, she "trialed" the removal and putting on under the watchful eyes of our consultants at eyesight.sg. I have to say that the staff there were super patient and very experienced in explaining, teaching and managing the kiddo's experience. 

They talked the kiddo through the steps slowly and very encouraging despite the fact that she was flustered in her first few attempts as it must have seem quite daunting to her to place the lenses into her eyes the first few times.

:: Cleaning of lenses

The steps involved in the cleansing were explained simply and the staff got the kiddo to demo to them too to ensure that there's no miscommunication. As hygiene is key to the success of this programme, I was really impressed with the detailed explanation and how the staff made it a point to highlight to the kiddo that it is her responsibility to maintain that hygiene. 

:: Soaking of lenses

And after the rinsing, it is off to soaking the lenses in another cleansing solution where it stays in the holder during the day. 

:: Overall experience

The kiddo's "degree" was about 150 to start off so I wanted to quickly manage / control the increase of the degree to a minimum when it was still on the "low" side. And because it was "low" to start off, her eyesight was tested to be perfect only after a few days of use.

(This was a momentous moment as we went on a family vacation in Dec, just 2 days after she started on Ortho-K. On the 4th morning, I still recall that she said to me "Mummy, I can see the ripples in the water! It's magical!") 

While there's "work" to be done in cleansing and soaking of the lenses plus regular eye checks, the pros far outweighs the "work". The kiddo has better "quality of life" because of better "quality of sight". It's now much safer for her to partake recreational netball

She's now able to enjoy her holidays where she can see well and do not have to cope with the hassle of wearing glasses... 

During March holidays in Penang

During June holidays in Ho Chi Minh City where she could take in the sights while on the back of a motorcycle during a local night tour!

Eyesight.sg

Addresses:

148 Potong Pasir Ave 1, #01-51 Singapore 350148
827 Tampines Street 81 #01-146 Singapore, 520827

Call or WhatsApp at (+65) 9824 1607

Operating hours: Monday to Sunday 11am-9pm

CALL FOR A NON-OBLIGATORY FREE CONSULTATION AND QUOTE "BEANIE "N" US" FOR $100 OFF YOUR ORTHO-K PACKAGE! 

Disclaimer: this is a series of collaboration as invited by Eyesight.sg so that Dumpling and I can share our reviews and experience on this new Ortho-K journey.

If you have enjoyed this post, please follow me on my Facebook Page where I share my parenting thoughts, food photos (be prepared for tons of them!), early shout outs for giveaways and interact with you, my readers! You can also follow me on Pinterest and Instagram!  

Tuesday Thoughts: 'Gifted' toddlers - a need to advance?

In my scope of work and during personal time, I meet many parents of young children and often times, have been blessed with the chance to chat with them, learn more about them and learn from them. After all, there is such a saying where 'the cheapest form of lesson is learning from someone's experience.' 

More and more often, I hear about and know of parents who share that their preschoolers / toddlers are gifted.  Some parents did a lot of reading up while some shared that their Pediatrician has shared that the child is advanced. Frankly I am sitting on the fence for these sort of early diagnosis. 

I understand that all children are gifts and are blessed with talents in different areas. I am not trying to belittle the efforts of parents who want the best start for their kids. But I feel that there is a lot of difference between a child prodigy who is profoundly gifted versus one who is advanced. Smart kids are sprouting up quicker than ever possibly because of more discerned parents who pick up on quicker developmental milestones achieved by their kids and also more 'hardworking parents' who take greater effort to teach their children and expose them early to many different experiences. 

The thing is with such early 'diagnosis' and sharing, I know of parents who insist on having their preschools advance the child to another level. I am certainly not in favour of this unless otherwise the child has been formerly tested (which the recommended age is around 5) and falls in the profoundly gifted category where the child needs an entirely level of engagement altogether. 

While advanced, some children do lack behind in other areas such as social or motor skills. By placing a child at a higher level class, the child may be challenged academically but may not be given a proper chance to work at his / her own pace when it comes to something as simple as the pencil grip. By placing the child at an older class, the child may be rushed through as expectations are already set that 'this child is gifted' and hence can catch on quickly. By rushing through the early years, sometimes these children are not socially ready and may have issues dealing with concepts emotionally leading to meltdowns - Asynchronous Development.

I met a couple some time back who shared that they feel that their child is happier with older children, can take instructions well and is an advanced learner. The entire conversation surrounded on what the child (a toddler) can do and that they did not wish for the child to be placed in the 'original' class as they do not want their child to revert to 'babyish days'. As the parents shared, yes, it is great to develop leadership skills are but they do not necessarily want or need the child to be with his peers (based on age) where the child would likely spend his/her time herding and helping out the rest of the children. 

Those are some pretty strong thoughts - whatever happened to 'community spirit'? I, for one, feel that there is much to be learnt from having a child mingle with children at his / her age. To me, the child will pick up important values along the way - patience and tolerance for his/her peers, compassion, helpfulness, etc. As pressure amounts for e.g. in Primary school, would resilience not enter into the story? In group projects, would the child not be required to understand what teamwork, cohesiveness and tolerance? If as parents, we are not even tolerant of unique differences and embrace them, how do we expect our child to know and display them? Are these not important traits to hone rather than looking purely at the academics? 

The child after all, is all but a wee little person at less than 3. Is there such a need to rush the child through 'life' - the child has many many years of formal schooling to come before entering adulthood. When has society become so impatient with these little kids? Since when, have we as parents, become so intolerant of this wonderful journey and experience called "childhood"?

I know that many place academics above and beyond traits and values but I do not. I strongly believe that deep rooted values form the foundation for all things; if there ever is a 'gauge/meter' where I am being measured how 'well' I did as a parent, academics will probably not be in the top 3. Heck, I am not sure if it will even make it to the top 5.

I will consider giving myself a pat on the back if my child (in no particular order) has a thankful and compassionate heart, has a good attitude in life (e.g. perseverance, the right focus), is sensible and filial and of course, loves God.

I know that Dumpling's formal school years (Primary One) is creeping and crawling up slowly but surely on us. I am not in denial that there is prep work to be done prior but I rather spend time showing her the ropes  of how to be a 'good person' and prefer that she has a happy childhood filled with laughter and memories of us hanging out and having fun than rushing her through 'life'.

Tuesday Thoughts - Memoir from yesteryears?

I am not sure if it is old age or that because life just passes in a blur, my memory is just not as good as it used to be. Hence I am a shutterbug and take photos of Dumpling whenever I can so that I have these to look back on fondly. This is also part of the reason of why I blog. 

More than that, I realised that I am getting sentimental and would have things / videos taken made so that Dumpling to have something to flip / look through once she is of 'age'. 1 of the 2 things I did when I was a SAHM during the early days was to make a 胎毛笔. Traditionally, this is a Chinese calligraphy pen where the  'bristles' of the calligraphy pen is made from the infant's hair and is meant as a keepsake.

That was about 4 years back. I took it out over the weekend and showed it to Dumpling. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the wooden holder and the pen are both nicely preserved. (The cardboard box was a tad tattered though I am not sure if that is Dumpling's doing :p)

I actually did not recall that I got the gentleman to engrave some words on the pen so it was a pleasant 'reminder' to read them all over again.

But more than that, it was a beautiful and poignant moment when I saw the smile lit up on Dumpling's face as she read it and a lump came up in the throat.

Did you have something made as a keepsake too?

Karma at its best - it made a 'none-too-judgemental' mother out of me

I recall that the first time I ever contemplated on my parenting style was when I was loads younger at a Chinese New Year party at my Godparents' place catching up with other fellow cell group mates.  One of my cell group mates brought along her son (less than a year old then) and the son was fussing as he was sleepy.

I was intrigued when my cell group mate excused herself and then went into one of the rooms to nurse him and put him to bed. When she returned, she apologised for her 'departure' and shared that her son is not used to noise and light hence she had to go into a quiet room. 

I recalled sharing then that when it is my turn, I will make sure that my child will be exposed to light and sounds so that she can sleep anywhere. HA! Shows you how much I know and what an annoying twit I was.

Well, 'karma' has certainly come around and taken a nip of me in the butt. Dumpling was anything but an easy baby. Despite having the best well-laid plans of letting her be exposed to light and sounds while putting her to bed, she would literally fussed for 2 hours and still be awake! Finally, after weeks of battling it out, I gave up. With my tail between the legs and head looking to the floor (not to mention arrogance out the door), Dumpling was quietly carried to a room with blinds down and where there is little sound and put to bed. 

I look back at moments like these and laugh. What a smart-mouthed chit I was. I am surprised that my GF did not give me the finger or the boot out of the apartment then. Years on and now that I have a demanding, inquisitively active and sassy-mouthed kid (hmmm I wonder where she got that from...) I realised that I have grown up quite a bit. 

I was at Pizza Hut near my place last year and there was a mum with 3 young kids (look to be 2 preschoolers and 1 toddler) with the hubs nowhere in sight. The mum looked frazzled, tired and very tightly wound up. The eldest child was not eating properly and was playing with her food. Frazzled mum talked to her nicely and the child started to whine and fuss and whined some more. She pushed the food around and started making a din at the restaurant with the cutlery and plates. The middle child then modeled her actions, started to throw food around and somehow started 'fighting' with the eldest kid. The eldest child did not stop despite the mum asking her to. The infant began to cry. The mum lost it. She snapped, yelled in the restaurant and pulled the eldest kid by the ear out of the restaurant. Hubs was still nowhere in sight. Everyone was just staring at them. I caught some remarks on her parenting style. But at that moment, I felt sorry for her. And no, I am not just saying that so that I look good here. But she truly looked like she had a really tough day and the kids' antics must have been the straw that broke her back. 

I was 'judged' from the moment Dumpling was out and around in the neighbourhood when she was all but 2 weeks old. The neighbourhood aunties would 'tsk tsked' me for being out (I had to get out of the house as I was battling PND then) or perhaps it was because I, too, have lost it on many counts where I threw tantrums of my own while Dumpling threw hers. I learnt that while mummydom develops me as a person, it also does bring out the worst in me. 

Every family has its parenting style and while it may not be 'textbook perfect' (ohhhh how easy Gina Ford painted it for me!) as long as it works for that family, who am I to judge? Of course there are often times when I feel that a particular child could have benefited from better habits (perhaps being read to more often, etc.) but I learnt to let it slide and zip up my mouth (before someone hands me the glue) as it is not my 'battle' to win. 

What do I know and who am I to judge with the different family dynamics? After all, karma has definitely come round my way and may just be lurking around the corner for the next nip! 

Parenting with Love: Relax = lack of discipline?

I recently came across an article in a parenting magazine and read an interview where the interviewee  said that there he does not see a point in letting his kids relax everyday as he wishes to instill discipline in them. After reading on, I found out that he has 2 preschoolers (below 6) and his children attends enrichment classes daily on weekday evenings after their childcare sessions. 

I am not sure if in this instance the saying "there is no bad PR" applies because that article basically left somewhat an unpleasant taste in my mouth. I was quite affected by the article as I find it hard to reconcile how discipline equates to the children being shuttled from classes to classes every evening. 

Discipline to me is not forcing an environment / practice upon a child (for the lack of a better term) so that the child is drilled to carry out tasks. It is a mindset, a practice and in a way, a value. Rather than drilling that into my kids, I'd prefer to explain to Dumpling the importance of finishing a task and not give up halfway.  

In the last paragraph, the interviewee stated that parents must know how to teach their children and cannot be too casual about it as the most absorbent years are from birth till 6 and thereafter, the rate of absorption reduces every year. He then goes on to question how many days did our child spend at the playground or with electronic gadgets. 

Ok, I get that part about electronic gadgets as we are not big fans of such things at home but I do not find playground time inappropriate. To me, there is much that can be learnt from and at the playground - life skills such as taking turns, sharing, conflict management to building up the confidence to speak up, lead, etc.

More than that, free play is not a bad thing - it is moments like these that children get to create and imagine. My best childhood memories are when I played in the afternoon with my brother and neighbours and where I imagined I'd go on mysterious journeys; pretending to be a mermaid one day and a pirate the next. When we are left to be "bored" we reflect, we create and we explore. It is also discussed here that children should be allowed to get bored so they can develop their innate ability to be creative. 

As a parent, some of the best moments that I have are when I disconnected from my iPhone, was 'present', really played with my child, basked in her companionship and laughed at her antics.

Above pic: cheeky monkey here mimicking me hiking up my Yoga pants and hamming for the camera!

Above pic: mid way through our nature hike, she broke out in a dance. LOL

So, I choose to have moments like these. Moments where Dumpling can look back 20 years later and remember that mummy and daddy were there with her, having fun with her and not remember us only as just providers and chauffeurs.

My Life as a Mad, Working, Homeschooling Mum

I have been called a lot of names and certainly, with my perverse sense of humour, "mad" seems to nail it for me. Why? Because in a certain way, I am a sucker for 'punishment'. Besides working, blogging, I am also a homeschooler in the evenings.

"What?!?" and usually punctuated with a look of disbelief. "Why do you even work if you are a homeschooler?" is another common question and some, promptly give me the look. So it is a double whammy for me.

Well, I work for many reasons. Primarily, I work because I want to be able to provide a better quality of "life" for my child. Now, before I get flogged by all the comments that say Money is not Everything, I want to say that I certainly agree with that statement. But based on Dumpling's schedule, it does not make sense for me to stay at home the whole day.

Dumpling attends Chinese classes daily. After her classes, she gets transported back home / to my parents', takes her lunch and have a nap. When she wakes up, there's routine care of snack time, playground time and shower time. This has been very much the same routine since years back.

I did stay at home intermittently for months after delivery and also taking a break in between jobs. After assessing for a bit, I have to say that I am not "missing out" much because I am only able to engage Dumpling around 5odd pm after she is done with all the routine care.

Comparing this to if I were working, I'd get home at 6+ and I am only missing out an hour a day technically. Hence, I decided to stick with it.

I enjoy the financial independence. I like having the ability to pay for Dumpling's 'things' be it her activities or bringing her to plays. I like that I am able to give my parents a token sum every month. This seems to be a very 'Chinese' thing in me; my parents are old and I do not want them to have to worry about me or having to worry about money.

I also like having my own money where I am able to head out and splurge on theatrical productions, books, lavish meals once in a while. More than that, I am thankful that I am able to help out in the family than having the man do everything. It is certainly not cheap sending Dumpling for the various classes she attends and I am glad that I am able to contribute to it.

So are there challenges to be a working mum? Of course there are.

I miss her every minute of the day but I do not feel guilty about having to work primarily because as a homeschooler, my evenings are devoted entirely to her where we read, experiment and have fun learning Math. We have 3+ hours together every night including meal time. I also love my weekend soccer mum weekends where I arrange for play dates frequently for her with her friends where we catch plays, watch concerts, etc., together.

Things do get challenging when she's unwell too and I have to watch over / sponge her / administer medication throughout the night and then, heading back to work the next day. The first two nights are usually ok but after the third night, I usually feel like I am walking on air. :p

I did get questions if the bond with Dumpling is ok. My take on this is simple: whether we are working or non-working mums, all parents I believe, want the best for our child. The bond between a parent and a child is not measured entirely and solely on the number of hours the parent is at home but, what they make out of the time when they are together and if it is spent meaningfully.

I dare say that Dumpling and I are very close and though she is growing up fast, I am proud to have raised a child who gives thanks for the blessings that we have. One who still asks for kisses and is not too prideful to admit her mistakes and apologises for them. So yes, I do think I am doing pretty ok as a working mum. But most importantly, I am doing OK as Dumpling's mum and the mum that Dumpling has fun moments with, loves and enjoys - working or not.

(Photo courtesy of my talented girlfriend Eleen Lim)

Parenting with Love ~ Let your child learn to fall

I had lunch with a colleague and though young, he left an impression on me. He works for the Sports department and was sharing his thoughts on his impression of the parents he met seem so academically driven; Sports and Gym are often the last 2 things on their mind.

More than that, he shared that he sees parents prepping their children for P1 with all sorts of enrichment classes. He then wondered out loud if parents are indeed "over-prepping" their kids and it is important for kids to "learn how to fall". I too noted in some workshops or when I am at  play gyms, when the kids trip, it is not uncommon to see parents rushing up and making quite a fuss over it. Even when the child was originally not crying, he'd end up wailing shortly.

This got me thinking: as parents, do we allow our child to fall? In addition, do we create chances for our child to fall and more importantly, how to fall graciously, pick themselves up and grow to be more resilient through time?

Another friend also shared that in her experience, she noted that some kids are prepped so far ahead that they tend to wander off in class and they are used to "knowing" and "getting it right". This got me thinking again: as parents when we send the kids to school, are they not supposed to learn something out of it? If the child were to be always well prepped, does it breed a less resilient kid who does not get a chance to learn through trial and error? And what about the development of critical thinking skills from the insights gained on where it went 'wrong' and being adaptable in the face of adversity?

How then, do we and should we teach our kids to fall?

Source: http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/social_boundaries.asp

Linking up: