12 Rules for Mums of Girls - A mother's Love Guide

I came across a lovely blog post by dad Michael Mitchell recently and it made me smile, tear then chuckle and laugh out loud. While it doesn't technically apply to me as a mum (post was written from a dad to another dad), the post resonated well with me and left me with a deep impression.

The rules that I love most in his post, I realized, are generally the ones who reminds the dads how fast kids grow, for them to be present so as not to miss out on these moments.

So I thought that I will do a mum of a preschooler version - from a mum of a preschooler to my other mummy friends with female toddlers and new mummies of girls. And since Dumpling is all but a tender age of 4, I have only 12 points to share. :)

:: 1. An uninterrupted night's sleep is a thing of the past 
Am still living it. Period. The faster you accept this fact, the easier it would be for you. And while I am at it, for mummies who are co-bedding, you will be on the receiving end of jabs in the stomach and there is no such thing as personal space.

:: 2. As your daughter gets older, her negotiation skills get better
It begins slowly and then she starts to negotiate for more more more - "just 1 more (episode of) peppa pig", "10 more minutes please?", "can I have that ice cream / yoghurt please? PRETTY please????" to emotional blackmail "I am asking very nicely!" while giving you the doe-eye look.

(Yup, she got her Yoghurt)

:: 3. Beware of the "Bambi-eye mode"
There is something interesting about how having a daughter seems to turn the hubs to a puddle and how the daughter will end up winning all negotiations (see point 2 above)

Classic example below when Dumpling was fiddling with the hubs' new mobile phone some time back and this was when she was around 2.

The hubs: please return the phone to me, it is new. Don't damage it

Dumpling: (ignored the man)

The hubs: (raising his voice a bit) It is new. Don't fiddle with it! Pass it back to me!

Dumpling: (bambi-eyes mode turned on): Oh, I wanted to type "Daddy is my prince". 

The hubs: (stumped) Oh. OK then. Please be careful with it.

:: 4. Being relegated to #2. 
Somehow between the mum and the daughter, the dad tends to soften naturally towards the daughter. While I used to be the Empress Dowager, now, the daughter reigns. Some serious breakfast decisions that I make are over-ruled (to my horror!)

The hubs: Where should we go for breakfast?

Dumpling: McDonald's

Me: Dim Sum! 

The hubs: (totally ignoring me): OK, McDonald's it would be

Me: HUH?!?!?

That reminds me, I need to educate Dumpling on how not to be a 'cheap date'.  -___-

:: 5. Teach her to smile and speak like a lady but punch like a boy.

True story. Not kidding. Dumpling was picked on when she was younger by a boy in her Chinese class for the longest time when she was younger. He would shove her, push her off the chair and hit her. This went on for a few months. The hubs got angry and taught her some self defense moves. 

Some days later, the boy came charging towards her again in class. Something in Dumpling snapped. Instead of running away, she charged towards him like a bull which saw red, jumped on his back and bit him. HARD. On his face. 

As one of her classmates Sasha said to her mum "Mummy, O has a BIG red rash on his face!" The boy never bothered her again.

:: 6. When in doubt, smile and fight dirty. 

Yes, I know she did not punch him as stated in the heading for point 5 above (we are still working on her right hook) but when it comes to bullies, it is OK to fight dirty. :)

:: 7. Make up and pedicures

Somewhere between the toddler and preschooler period, your daughter will develop an interest in make-up and manicures / pedicures. She'd like all things pretty. She will go through a phase where she thinks that she is a princess. She may break your latest mineral blusher (ouch!) or crack your Naked palette (double ouch!).

It is OK. Breathe.

Then charge it sneakily to the hubs (getting her to use her skills mentioned in point 3 above would be extremely useful now.)

:: 8. Teach her how to appreciate good food and more importantly, how to cook. 

It is said that food is the way to a man's heart. I cannot disagree with that. But more importantly, it is a survival skill which is useful and necessary. Who knows, she may end up being a food blogger! (Hey, a 'tam jiak' mum {read: greedy} so I can dream about all those free food reviews right?)

:: 9. Develop a thick hide (and it helps that you are well groomed too)

During the early years, they will develop what I call the 'mad cry syndrome' where they also develop an impeccable timing to have a meltdown. 

Mine was at Meidi-Ya. She was cranky from not being able to play any longer at the indoor gym there and did not want to leave. I lugged her to Meidi-Ya where she saw some pokey which she wanted to try. I did not agree to buy it. She laid down on the floor, screamed at the top of her voice (you cannot possibly imagine how loud a voice can come out from such a small being at 'appropriate times' like these) and refused to get up. 

I did not budge. ALL PAIRS of eyes were on me. The nice, pretty, perfectly made up with the perfectly coiffured hairdos demure Japanese housewives stared at her, then at me. So, I decided that I am never gonna leave my house ever, without having the perfect hair. EVER. If they are gonna stare, I might as well look pretty.

:: 10. Be silly, truly silly. 
You are gonna have her as a toddler / preschooler once. Be silly. Have fun. Laugh at your silliness. Re-live your childhood. (OK, I am saying that because perhaps some time down the road, I will not look at photos such as the below and think "What the hell was I thinking?")

And yes, that was me at Toy R Us. Yes, there were people staring and yes again, there were people laughing too. 

(Mr. Stark, we love you!)

:: 11. Girl dates and Mini Me! 
Have girl dates! Better yet, go out / attend 'socials' in matching clothes. One of these days, and all too soon, she may not think that mum is cool and stylish.

(In matching jackets and in matching fancy make-up for Halloween)

:: 12. Laugh and cry you will but tell her you love her everyday 

 There are so many moments that my little girl remind me of me that it is totally not funny. She is feisty, intense, stubborn, vocal and loud. She challenges me emotionally and intellectually to no end. She makes me cry and in the same breath, makes me laugh again. Yet, I cannot be any happier.

Remember to tell her that. Even when she makes you so mad with her tantrums and 101 negotiations, tell her that. Tell her that you love her everyday no matter how busy you are. Pray with her and let her hear you thanking the Lord for her. For I am sure that without a little one in our lives, we would not be as fulfilled. 

(Source for pic above: unknown)

Happy Mother's Day to you mummy readers out there! Have a blessed celebration and enjoy your little ones before they grow up all too soon! 

Love, Mama Sue