“I’m dying”
“I feel
depressed”
“I’m not
joking. I’m serious”
The girl then proceeded to share that it is because she has to "do 3 exam papers every day” and she has not even a day to rest. (Just to add, the exam papers are not given by the school.) Then it was followed by:
The girl then proceeded to share that it is because she has to "do 3 exam papers every day” and she has not even a day to rest. (Just to add, the exam papers are not given by the school.) Then it was followed by:
“I do wanna
get good grades but I’m dying”
“I wanna
cry but I can’t”
And then to our horror, she added on to say
And then to our horror, she added on to say
“She says
that XX does more work than me. She’s probably right but
still … too much”
“And XXdoesn’t have a choice either”
“And XX
“All to get
good grades… it’s not worth it… I just wanna have a day when I can rest… but I
can’t”
“I wanna
die”
There were more in between and she ended with:
“I’m stuck here… crying”
*XX being Dumpling's name
Firstly, I
do not know how it is humanly possible to expect our kids to do 3 sets of practice
papers daily. Clearly, the author’s mum’s motto is “more is more”.
Secondly,
my kid does not do more work than her kid. My kid does not even smell, let alone touch practice
papers monthly. Heck, I will be laughing my way sending her to school if she
even remembers to complete her school homework on time.
Thirdly, why is there a need to use my child or any child for that matter a yardstick for comparison? More than that, why is my child being used as an "excuse" to normalize the "3 exam papers daily"? And to dispel any myth, my kiddo is not a top student
in her class. That child, however, possibly is one of the top and at the rate
she is going, is well on-route to be a scholar.
I am
sharing this openly not as an attempt to shame anyone but because as a parent, I am concerned.
Is this the method which we use to get our children to excel – the non-stop practice papers and the pressure by saying that another child is doing more work than yours? Why is there such a need for these comparisons and the need to be so overly focused on just grades? When your child is pushed to a corner where she used her whats app status to share these, does it not say something? When she talks about dying not once, not twice but thrice, does it once again not say something?
Is this the method which we use to get our children to excel – the non-stop practice papers and the pressure by saying that another child is doing more work than yours? Why is there such a need for these comparisons and the need to be so overly focused on just grades? When your child is pushed to a corner where she used her whats app status to share these, does it not say something? When she talks about dying not once, not twice but thrice, does it once again not say something?
I am sharing this openly also because my child, after seeing the status update was very upset and broke down outside, witnessed by my buddy. In short my child feels that she does not want to do well in school if it means that her friend bears that brunt of it. She also could not understand why she was dragged into it, where "she" (in the status updates) had the impression that my kiddo does exam papers like a machine and my kiddo also did not understand why there is a need for such comparison. Mostly, Dumpling was upset that she will end up not having a friend due to all these competition.
I am sharing this openly because I truly wonder, when
have grades become more important than mental health and other things such as values –
honesty, perseverance, integrity and responsibility? Why are grades, the only definition
of “success”?
I am sharing this because I am worried about the kind of world our children are raised in. Though there are changes to the education landscape where exams are removed, it is very clear here that it would take loads more before such competitions and the the over emphasis of “grades” are lessened in our society. It is sad because in a warp way, what we have done is like what we see in a B-grade movie: we created this grade culture and monster and think that we have it under our control, instead laughably, it has infiltrated our system, "become" the system, gotten into our DNA and it now owns us. Our children end up being drilled endlessly, disliking school and unfortunately, experience first hand how "Kiasuism" and the pursuit of grades drive a wedge in their love for learning and in forging genuine and healthy friendships.
I am sharing this because I am worried about the kind of world our children are raised in. Though there are changes to the education landscape where exams are removed, it is very clear here that it would take loads more before such competitions and the the over emphasis of “grades” are lessened in our society. It is sad because in a warp way, what we have done is like what we see in a B-grade movie: we created this grade culture and monster and think that we have it under our control, instead laughably, it has infiltrated our system, "become" the system, gotten into our DNA and it now owns us. Our children end up being drilled endlessly, disliking school and unfortunately, experience first hand how "Kiasuism" and the pursuit of grades drive a wedge in their love for learning and in forging genuine and healthy friendships.
So, the question
aptly asked above resonates deep and true: “all to get good grades – but is it
worth it?”
Is your
child’s sanity worth it?
Source
If you have enjoyed this post, please follow me on my Facebook Page where I share my parenting thoughts, food photos (be prepared for tons of them!), early shout outs for giveaways and interact with you, my readers! You can also follow me on Pinterest and Instagram!