Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Parenting with Love: Relax = lack of discipline?

I recently came across an article in a parenting magazine and read an interview where the interviewee  said that there he does not see a point in letting his kids relax everyday as he wishes to instill discipline in them. After reading on, I found out that he has 2 preschoolers (below 6) and his children attends enrichment classes daily on weekday evenings after their childcare sessions. 

I am not sure if in this instance the saying "there is no bad PR" applies because that article basically left somewhat an unpleasant taste in my mouth. I was quite affected by the article as I find it hard to reconcile how discipline equates to the children being shuttled from classes to classes every evening. 

Discipline to me is not forcing an environment / practice upon a child (for the lack of a better term) so that the child is drilled to carry out tasks. It is a mindset, a practice and in a way, a value. Rather than drilling that into my kids, I'd prefer to explain to Dumpling the importance of finishing a task and not give up halfway.  



In the last paragraph, the interviewee stated that parents must know how to teach their children and cannot be too casual about it as the most absorbent years are from birth till 6 and thereafter, the rate of absorption reduces every year. He then goes on to question how many days did our child spend at the playground or with electronic gadgets. 

Ok, I get that part about electronic gadgets as we are not big fans of such things at home but I do not find playground time inappropriate. To me, there is much that can be learnt from and at the playground - life skills such as taking turns, sharing, conflict management to building up the confidence to speak up, lead, etc.

More than that, free play is not a bad thing - it is moments like these that children get to create and imagine. My best childhood memories are when I played in the afternoon with my brother and neighbours and where I imagined I'd go on mysterious journeys; pretending to be a mermaid one day and a pirate the next. When we are left to be "bored" we reflect, we create and we explore. It is also discussed here that children should be allowed to get bored so they can develop their innate ability to be creative



As a parent, some of the best moments that I have are when I disconnected from my iPhone, was 'present', really played with my child, basked in her companionship and laughed at her antics.

Above pic: cheeky monkey here mimicking me hiking up my Yoga pants and hamming for the camera!

Above pic: mid way through our nature hike, she broke out in a dance. LOL

So, I choose to have moments like these. Moments where Dumpling can look back 20 years later and remember that mummy and daddy were there with her, having fun with her and not remember us only as just providers and chauffeurs.


MummyMOO

10 comments:

  1. Its sad that our children now have to be taught how to have fun and play, as in playing with things around them and not electronic gadgets?

    5mins at the playground does wonders to a child. Hope more parents can see the benefits of playing instead of stopping their child from enjoying life.

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    1. I agree totally, it is good and important to just have FREE PLAY!

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  2. Certain things can never be measured. Time, love, and bonding moments. I choose to be an attached parent because I want to share the joys of growing up with the kid. I want to see the world through their eyes, and savour every moment.

    While discipline is necessary, I don't think that we should enforce rules because 'it's right' and it 'builds character' or 'sets the pace and prepares them for challenges ahead'. It certainly doesn't mean that because I choose to be more relaxed in letting the boy enjoy his childhood - I am not helping him grow.

    I'd rather see him smile and be happy while he learns things at his own pace, rather than see furrowed brows and a grumpy disposition.

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    1. I totally agree and I guess that this also depends on the child's personality. Going by BabyMoo's strong character, I do not think the 'law enforcer' mode will go down well with him :p

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  3. Playground time is really time that the kids need to socialise and build up the motor skills. It shouldn't be considered a waste of time. Together with down time and time just for them to chill out and have fun. It's all part of giving them a balanced childhood.

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    1. Yes, I agree Dominique. I think the important word here is 'balanced'. I just feel sad that the kids are now not encouraged / allowed to play. Goodness, there are other things just as important as academics, if not more

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  4. Children are meant to PLAY..

    Why some parents want their kids to grow up fast baffles me sometimes... they have the rest of their adult lives to become serious...let them play as children!

    Life is too short.

    SIGH

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    1. Hi Aloted Omoba, thank you for popping by. It completely baffles me too but I have to say that the local system here truly is as such - competitive. It seems to be a vicious cycle where some parents worry about elementary school readiness and then 'pushes' the schools which in turn 'pushes' it down to the children. :/

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  5. I really loathe the idea of keeping our kid so busy from one class to another. It really takes the joy out of learning and deprives them of a childhood. I love what you say about children being given the time to just be bored and day dream and be creative. It's something that is so lacking in our academically driven society.

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    1. You know that I am completely with you on this Susan. The mindless shuttling is scary to me. Let's continue to persevere in giving our kids a balanced and fun childhood!

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