Tuesday, June 19, 2012

I am a Nazi mum, hear me roar!!!

Do you have moments when your routine sort of falls apart? And, how did you react? 

I am actually pretty known to my friends for being anal about routines and one of them even remarked jokingly that if I were the CEO of a certain mode of public transport in Singapore, there should not be any further bad press about the delays. :p

I must be honest that this is one area which I have yet to be more relaxed and forgiving about. As Dumpling sleeps very little I am very insistent on her naps though I am well aware quite a few of her friends who are around her age has dropped off their naps. 

Dumpling, for some strange reason, tends to wake up at 7+ in the morning (sometimes even before 7am!) regardless of what time she sleeps at night. I did the whole experimenting thing where I cut down her nap times and all BUT she still sleeps late and wakes up at about the same time again the next day and she is not cranky at all!

Because of this, I have been very strict with her getting her naps daily.

BUT (and like all things, there sometimes is a "but") once in a while, our routine gets disrupted by luncheons (which we have to go to) and birthday parties (which I usually try to sit out).

Over the last weekend, her naptime was disrupted because we went out for a family lunch and left late. She fell asleep in the car and it was an "uh oh" moment for me. And sure enough, the moment we placed her on the bed, she woke up! She had all but what, 5 - 10mins of rest? And then it was downhill from there as she was not able to settle down and go back to bed. I was frustrated and stressed out and totally unconsolable.

I was upset because she slept very little the night before (read, less than 8 hours of sleep) and it was just ridiculous to see her struggling with her heavy lidded eyes and yet she still could not settle down despite tossing for an hour! So I struggle. I struggle because over the past 3+ years, her sleeping pattern is as such. Nothing has changed. Hence I find it hard to understand if both dinner and luncheon options are available, why do we always end up being pushed into taking the luncheon options. I was upset with myself, for being pushed to agree to the said luncheon and more importantly, for not sticking to my guns and trusting my instincts.

I should not be made to feel guilty and bad that the timing just does not work for us. I totally dislike the comparison and remarks such as "oh but my kid dropped his/her nap at this age" and the "it is ok, it is just once in a while". Well, it is not OK. Each child is different. Dumpling started speaking in short sentences at 18 months so should I comment on this?

 So, for now, the man and I have agreed that there will be no more socials for us in the afternoon until she is able to drop her nap. Yes, I am anal and I am not ashame to admit it. If I am not gonna be popular because we decide to sit out a family function / social / a birthday party, then so be it.

Yes, I am a Nazi mum, hear me roar!

Source: http://awrappersview.blogspot.sg/2009/04/i-am-woman-hear-me-roar.html


  1. OOOooooo Nazi Mum!!! I like! Same camp! and WOW!!!! This post describes me too! I struggle with the decision to drop the afternoon nap and decided to compromise to napping 45min max.

    I am *super-duper precise* for sleep-time too. I always rather not compromise anything for sleep but initially everyone especially my in-laws didn't agree and my hubby was slightly uncomfortable asking if compromises can be made.

    3.5 years on, I've relaxed a bit.. maybe by 15min? :p

    And I totally feel your pain when the child wakes up after 5min, during *the transfer*.

    What I do, is to engage the kid in a major way. Singing, talking, yelling, windows down, looking everywhere just to prevent dozing off in the car. Sometimes it doesn't help.

    Oh but a slight difference. I prefer lunches to dinners as we start bedtime routine at 645 so unless dinners are like 830 (without kit). I used to push lunch till 2pm just so the kid can nap. Now I just keep him awake and engaged and start bedtime routine as early at 620 on days he misses his nap

    1. *Waves* and High 5*!

      I prefer dinners as her bedtime is later than your son. Despite me cutting down her naptime, she would still sleep late and at around the same time. So I thought that if that's the case, might as well let her nap properly.

      Yes I struggle with some of these 'compromises'. But lol, good on you, 15mins! Ha ha ha

  2. Ohhh I can identify! Now I'm much more relaxed re afternoon naps cos I know Poppy can handle it. She's mature enough to say "I'm not tired, I don't want to take a nap, but I'll do quiet activities in the room, and I'll sleep at 7pm" (whoa, did I just make her sound like a boring old fart? haha). I started relaxing when she stopped getting cranky from a missed nap.

    With all aspects of parenting, people surely have lots to say about afternoon naps. Too long, too short. Still taking naps at this age? Not napping at all? Still thumb sucking to sleep? Etc.

    Trust your instincts; YOU are her mum, YOU know her best. Like what my MIL would say, everyone else can go "suck a lemon"!

    1. Thanks Adora, it's just quite trying at times as usually when the kids act out, they will quickly hand them back to the parents - overly tired, cranky and all.

      I should have a disclaimer to state 'please return kids in their original condition'. Lol

  3. Alicia,

    I agree with Adora. She's your child, so YOU have every right to decide what's good for her because you know her best. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    I am pretty relaxed with naps and routine etc, but only because I know that my son can handle it (he's shown me that he is able to as well). Of course, plenty of people will tell me that he's too young for me to figure that out, but I think the current arrangement sits well with us best. Like you, I know his character best... and I refuse to live his life according to what other people dictate.

    You are NOT a Nazi Mum. You are just a Mum who knows what's best for C, and is prepared to make sure that she functions under the best conditions.

    1. Thanks for the kind words. If she were to sleep more at night then clearly it's ok to drop her naps but not when she sleeps less than some adults now! I should print a tee shirt with a Nazi mum logo when I attend socials. (^.^)

  4. If any of my kid falls asleep in the car, we would usually stay in the car till they wake up. Because the moment we shift them out, they will instantly wake up and there goes their nap- which frustrates us to no end. We figured, stay in the car for 30mins of nap vs 5-10mins of nap is waaay better. And yes, my son is 5 (alot of kids his age has forgone their naps looong ago) but I still insist he takes his nap daily without fail. I'm planning & hoping that the naps will stay even after he goes to pri school!

    1. Hi dear, thank you for visiting and stopping by. ;) Thanks, I think I will stay put in the car next time. We usually talk to her to keep her awake but all of us were tired out that afternoon. :) Regarding Pri school, was told that it may be a good idea to drop the naps then coz they may have their CCAs. Am not sure how true that is since we are no where near that stage!


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